My blog is getting a facelift from the one and only Hanna at Excelsior Lady. Check Her Out!! She runs a great blog and does some great design--and lucky for me also happens to be my best friend. Stay tuned for my new look!
With all that I've felt like I'm losing lately, it's made me cling quite tightly to the things that keep me sane. I was curled up here one night, guy I love curled up snoozing next to me in bed, and it was like a light bulb. They always say you don't know what you have until it's gone, but I think that's just an excuse. I think you have every opportunity to appreciate it, and it's human error to slip up sometimes, but it's human nature to either have that compassion or be ill motivated. Doing the job that I do, I sometimes think you can't fully understand love or compassion unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. Or perhaps watching a child learn to crawl or take their first steps. Or perhaps it's an epiphany when you're curled up next to someone who you know won't ever hurt you, and despite how much everyone else seems to be doing it, you feel guarded by their love and acceptance. I couldn't be more grateful for that than I am right now. I know they say when you love someone nothing else matters, but I think when you truly find reciprocated love you find the courage to let everything else matter a little more because they're there accepting and trusting you.
I can't stay mad forever, but I'm hoping it lasts a while longer--because once all the anger is gone (not something I usually hold on to) I know I have to feel the hurt. Even empty words from someone you love or admire can scar your heart in ways you've never known. I toy with the freedom I would get from writing about those feelings here. I mean after all, I think we forget just how free the truth can set us, but I know in my heart that it won't fix it, it won't heal it, and it will reveal it to people who could use it to manipulate or mangle an already crumbling entity. And the truth isn't really worth any of that.
In Other News..
|My Best Friend Came Home. Funny how quickly ten years passes right? Or how (gratefully) we decided that darker, thicker eyebrows were good in our 20's.|
|This fella is a gem I tell ya. Love love love him.|
Ps.... I took on this (much more challenging than anticipated) project for my boyfriends birthday of building him a unique desk. Thankfully, my dad is a skilled craftsman who guided my work and fixed my screw ups. He also ran the sander when it vibrated so much I couldn't feel my arm anymore. All in all, I'm still happy--homemade gifts are my favorite to give and to get. The time invested feels fulfilling. I will certainly keep my career as a caseworker and void all hopes of becoming an expert carpenter though.
Thanks for continuing to read.