Despite newly found peace in my head and heart, I have found myself in a bit of a writing slump. How do you lure someone in to your writing when all you want to write about is how fascinated you are by someone making the blood rush through you, your heartbeat quicken, make you calmer in their presence and soothed by their touch? How do you put into words finally overcoming some of your nightmares, finally closing the doors on what you saw in the shadows? How do you write a farewell to some of your most outstretched demons? I suppose the answer is that you might never be able to quite stand in my shoes but you can certainly relate to this: No one person can protect you from or save you from the hurt that you've succumb yourself to all of these years. That might sound dismal, but the truth is that I'm piecing together so slowly that life, people, events will throw stones at you but you can choose what you build with them, a wall to keep them out or a bridge to help others through that same low you've been in. You have to feel, and you have to let yourself love. What else are we on this earth for? And when the darkness creeps in, don't look for the people who seem to only live in the light, but instead make room for those who are willing to wait out the darkness with you, no matter how frightening it might get. It's okay if there's only a handful of them-- it's quality over quantity. No one's life has been made easier by having more people anyway. I've found a very real respect for those people who can be patient, who can forgive, and who can communicate their mutual respect and admiration for someone. It is very possible and very healthy to grow separately but not grow apart.
I am am big on compassion, on singing at the top of your lungs to get you through bad days, on 'I'm sorry' no matter how long it takes you to figure out your short-comings, and on hugs when someone is crumbling because you have no idea how much hope that might give them.