taking some heat. Mainly because it requires you to be honest in order to grow, and there are some people who don't like the truth--it brews a lot of feelings. The truth is I am who I am only because of the people I've met, the situations I've encountered, and the lessons I've learned from it all. I'm far from a saint. I have made mistakes and bad decisions and hurt people. And while those are always the hardest lessons, they too are lessons. I write because it saves me. I write because each time I do I learn something about myself. I think it's therapeutic and while it may not work for everyone, it gives me this sense of inner peace, a way to always discover a new chapter in the book of me.Having said that, I decided to start posting them publicly (on facebook) because I tend to hold back parts of myself when I think someone won't accept it--even my own family. This year, my resolution was to be more transparent about all areas of myself, not just the ones I like or think will be accepted. It's never meant to be a place to air dirty laundry about someone. I write because I hope it's something relatable, I hope that for my own purposes it's memorable, a little documentation of all of my lessons. It allows me to reflect, to grow. I don't want whats left of me to be what I pretend to be-- I have been shattered, I have fallen on my face, I have created some of my own misery at times-- I'm still learning.
exactly. sadly, most people like to live in an a world where they choose to neglect facing their decisions and actions and go on thinking it was always someone else's fault. must be nice. "ignorance is bliss" right? wrong. sometimes i feel like i cannot fit in with alot of people, most people, just for the simple fact that im not afraid to point the finger at myself. im not afraid to tell a story at my own expense. and im certaintly not afraid to admitt when i am wrong. so while it can make me an outcast at times, i think, fuck it, i dont want to be member of a cowardly group like that anyways.
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