It’s strange to think of what you are to everyone and then what you are to the few people who peel back your layers. To the entire world I am bubbly and an omnipresent sense of cheerfulness. I smile like it’s going out of style. I hate spiders. I am afraid of the dark. I seem like the stereotypical girl. There’s more though. I like wearing dresses and I’m not afraid to kick back some beers with the guys, belching included. I sing too loud, too frequently, and I’m not afraid of embarrassing myself when I do. I don’t rely on being in love to get me through life, even though I love tons of people. I don’t want to make love, I want to make love last. I’ve been scared and scarred just like every other girl, the difference is that it’s rare to believe MORE in love after all of that right? I think it’s a complicated world, and people have trouble finding each other. I have this vision that every relationship you come across is like a hitchhike down the road of life ya know? Some of them ultimately ending in a car crash. And even though you’re really tired from walking down that road all alone, you don’t want to get in that car because the last time something terrible happened. The trick is, that each car ride is a little different, you learn to put on your seat-belt. I’m trying to remind myself that more and more often. I have become a commitment phob but I am a hopeless romantic with a huge heart. I’d ask the boys to remember that, but I think it makes the creepers also hold on a little longer, also something I do not want.
That’s all for now-- I know I posted twice in one day and you’re probably as bored inside my mind as I am sometimes. Thank you for reading though.
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