I'm not very good with goodbyes. I get too hung up on saying the right thing (which usually distracts me from saying it). I am not so good with hellos. I rarely remember names and I'm closed off until you give me a reason not to be--maybe that's not what I mean... more generic. But in between, that's where the magic happens. I start piecing together the little pieces of who you are and how we're meant to fit together.
Today was my last day at my agency. It was so bittersweet. I was happy to leave behind the hassle of the administration, the gossip of disgruntled employees...but my kids. Ugh. My kids. Today one of them was hugging me goodbye and sobbing "first my mom left me, then my dad, now you. Please don't leave me. Take me with you. Adopt me". How crushing, first off. And how incredibly eye opening. Talk about resilient. Anyone who means anything has left this child and she is still warm and engaging. She smiles and gives the best hugs. She's funny and one of the smartest kids I know. Witty ya know? To see them all getting "bid on" by other agencies, it was like them never seeing all these beautiful individual characteristics in them. It made me want to shout "you better take good care of them, they're special'. It scares me to think not everyone puts their whole heart into their work the way I do.
Isn't it silly how one little conversation and a good dose of music can take you from feeling numb to nostaliga?
Yes, you are fine. And it's too bad people don't put their heart into their chosen line of work. I'm glad there are people like you in the world.
ReplyDelete