little did you know..

There are people in life that you meet who seem to have it all figured out. They know what they want, how to get it, and how long before it gets here. I used to plan my life religiously. That stopped happening at the end of a relationship in 2007. "You can plan for a change in the weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind". After that I changed a little. I became less serious about who I am and a lot more serious about life. Who I am has the main consistencies, a big heart, an unfailing belief in people, reliability, a nurturing almost mothering sense. I tend to be married or at least overly committed to my work. But little things about me are uncontainable. They change, they're inconsistent. It's taken me a long time to be okay with myself but quite honestly, I'm approaching 25. I'm single (terminally), I sleep next to my dog, I keep the same few friends who mean the world to me, and I don't stick my neck out for love anymore. Love can have it's turn to stick it's neck out for me because it's landed me promptly on my big full round tush in the past.

There are some things we can't plan for, but those tend to be the few little (huge) details we wish we could. I can't change the things I want to but I can smile through it all.