Apr 23, 2014

Six Months

I've had more trouble writing about this whole thing than I thought I would.  Pregnancy makes everyone hormonal--but when you think of pregnancy hormones you usually think 'crying over sad puppy commercials'.  That is not me as a pregnant person.   I go from fairly typical to raging bitch.  Sorry if that offends you but it is the most genuine way to put it.  Pregnancy hormones make me angry...easily...over things that don't matter.  The good news is in true hormonal fashion, I'm usually over it in 5 minutes... but MAN if Bryan isn't a saint for dealing with it, I don't know who is.   This is a man who shakes his head while I'm melting down about baby registries and loves me even when my nose is so stuffy I'm drooling Niagara Falls onto his arm in my sleep.  He makes me laugh every day and doesn't let a single day go by without feeling my belly, telling me I'm beautiful, and unintentionally reminding me of why I am madly, passionately in love with him.

Aside from the emotional roller coaster, pregnancy has been so much better lately.  I have energy and feel better.  I didn't even realize that I was six months pregnant until the other day when my app needed updating so I finally opened it.  We get to see the baby on Friday and (ideally) eliminate a lot of nerves that I've had since the last ultrasound at 18 weeks when the doctor found choroid plexus cysts on the babies brain.  It was the same day we celebrated finding out the babies gender, and something I chose not to say much about because talking about it makes me more anxious and my doctor keeps reassuring me that it's fairly common and usually gone by 25 weeks.  The last thing this worrier needs is any more anxiety.  I feel all these little kicks, which reminds me that this is reality (as if the strange stomach protruding more and more daily and overactive bladder could let me forget).

One last thing, in case anyone who reads this has had body image issues, which in my case stems from an eating disorder. . . Pregnancy is a hard concept for the 'average' person. (Whatever average even is anymore?)  And everyone is different, but for me it has been a very very very strange and emotional adjustment.  I worked very hard to build up my image of myself and I know growing a human alters your body, I know I look normal, I know I am healthy but there are still days where taking a picture of my body .. and looking at it ... is hard.  And please don't take that as me not being excited, I am overjoyed.  However, you have to know that body image issues are deep rooted pieces of evil that climb into your head.  Long story short, if you are similar to me or can learn anything from me, it's this... It's okay.  You're okay.  You're beautiful.  This process, and eventually your baby, will be beautiful.  I think everyone needs to hear that sometimes.

Ps.  There are a few of you from out of state in particular who asked to have me send registry informatin early... here are the links...

AMAZON: http://www.amazon.com/registry/baby/6J7FNIBPF80G

and WALMART: https://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=80541054152

For the rest of you I will include it when we get baby shower invites out next month (WHOA!!)

1 comment: