Hi guys. I'm going to try to be less 'social media annoying' for my friends who could give a hoot about me being pregnant and update friends/family here.. And whoever else cares to read it I suppose.
For those of you who don't know, I'd been told by several doctors that conceiving would be anywhere from 'unlikely' to 'impossible'. I was told that not only were my lady features less than cooperative (sorry family, tried to make that vague), but that my CFS and joint disorder would make pregnancy hard for me. Having said that, I met Bryan and within months of us dating was wildly in love and sure that if I ever had a shot at children of my own, I would want that to be with him.
Fast forward to the last 6 months ... My body needed a break from birth control (I'm on it to regulate some of my already mentioned issues, and make pain more manageable) and we didn't worry much about the likeliness of getting pregnant because we 'knew' it was unlikely but we hoped none the less. We were nearing 30 and so crazy in love that we wanted to share that with a baby. We talked often of adoption soon or fostering to test the waters.
December 28: Bryan was at work and I took a pregnancy test. I was a little out of sorts, but I assumed it was stress (this happens often because remember, I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant) and that after I test, my period will arrive as usual. Except before I have my pants up, this test is positive. And so are the other 2 I take after that. And so I call Bryan and we go through a cascade of emotions before settling on terrified excitement together.
They weren't kidding about the part where they said my CFS and joint disease would make pregnancy tricky. My already existing fatigue has been in an uproar and the inability to take any anti-inflammatory medication has made these cold winter days a bit difficult, but I'm managing. I had the worst 4 weeks of my life just now in terms of morning sickness and lost about 6 lbs. The doctor has given me some medication that has drastically improved that and I have been on the up and up thanks to patient friends, family, and co-workers.
It's a tough balance for me to not let social media psyche me into thinking I should be 'better' at pregnancy because others 'handled it better' than I do. I have to keep reminding myself that it will be a tougher journey, because I'm not just pregnant, I am dealing with a little miracle and it will be so incredibly worth it to hold them and know that we were lucky enough for this opportunity. I know some of my 'friends' had their feathers ruffled, and I know some of those friendships will change as I choose to take a different path in my life. I know there is stigma associated with Bryan and I not being married before we had children. To that I say, I can marry at 65... I didn't think I could have children at all.
Thank you to those of you who know us, who love us, who support and encourage us. We are so lucky to have you... and so lucky for 'meatball' (Bryan and I have been calling the baby that...don't judge).