There are pros and cons to having a big heart. You love easily. You love relentlessly. You see the good in each person you’ve met in this life—even when they've let you down, even when they have betrayed you. And for a majority of my life so far, I thought love meant 'bending' instead of compromising. I know you probably wonder what I mean since they seem similar in the grand scheme. I thought love, true love, meant that you loved someone and forgave their faults. And what I've discovered now is when you truly love someone, you love them because of their faults, you embrace them, cherish them. You fall in love with the dirty clothes on the floor which are right next to the laundry basket. You fall in love with the way their chin hairs litter your bathroom sink and seem impossible to get clean. You fall in love with the way they never seem to close a drawer. You love this because you can't help it. You love it the way you love their humor and heart. Your heart swells for them, you're enamored. This love, this true love is ineffable. There isn't enough or the right words in my head or my heart to describe it. There are few things in this life we can ever be sure of, but I have a few: myself, our love, and you. Please notice that I've noted myself first—because as I've eluded, it took me a great deal of my twenties to be sure I'd found it. I probably wouldn't have been sure that I'd found it if I hadn't also found you-- but that's the thing, I am myself with you and have never had to find any exceptions to that. There have been so many people who tell us that they hope to find a love like ours, and I do too because everyone needs to feel this complete. Everyone needs someone in their corner, who can stay up late and wake up early if it helps make life more bearable. Everyone needs someone to share jokes with and laugh uncontrollably. Everyone needs a love like ours, where we re-write song lyrics to say inappropriate things and make no excuses about putting ourselves and our relationships before the things people think make them happy: money, clothes, expensive items. It's not that I can't live without you, it's that my heart knows I've found home-- it's that I'm free to live any life I want because I can do it with you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for working so hard for us. Thank you for loving me during highs and lows. You nurse me when I'm ill, you encourage me when I'm discouraged, you celebrate my victories. I know they say love makes you do crazy things, but I think our love just makes me one thing: sure.
|Photo credit: A.B. Photography|
I love you, 5ever.