There are pros and cons to
having a big heart. You love easily. You love relentlessly. You
see the good in each person you’ve met in this life—even when
they've let you down, even when they have betrayed you. And for a
majority of my life so far, I thought love meant 'bending' instead of
compromising. I know you probably wonder what I mean since they seem
similar in the grand scheme. I thought love, true love, meant that
you loved someone and forgave their faults. And what I've discovered
now is when you truly love someone, you love them because of their faults,
you embrace them, cherish them. You fall in love with the dirty
clothes on the floor which are right next to the laundry basket. You
fall in love with the way their chin hairs litter your bathroom sink
and seem impossible to get clean. You fall in love with the way they
never seem to close a drawer. You love this because you can't help it. You love it the way you love their humor and heart.
Your heart swells for them, you're enamored. This love, this true
love is ineffable. There isn't enough or the right words in my head
or my heart to describe it. There are few things in this life we
can ever be sure of, but I have a few: myself, our love, and you.
Please notice that I've noted myself first—because as I've eluded,
it took me a great deal of my twenties to be sure I'd found it. I
probably wouldn't have been sure that I'd found it if I hadn't also
found you-- but that's the thing, I am myself with you and have never
had to find any exceptions to that. There have been so many people
who tell us that they hope to find a love like ours, and I do too
because everyone needs to feel this complete. Everyone needs someone
in their corner, who can stay up late and wake up early if it helps
make life more bearable. Everyone needs someone to share jokes with
and laugh uncontrollably. Everyone needs a love like ours, where we
re-write song lyrics to say inappropriate things and make no excuses
about putting ourselves and our relationships before the things
people think make them happy: money, clothes, expensive items.
It's not that I can't live without you, it's that my heart knows I've
found home-- it's that I'm free to live any life I want because I can
do it with you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for working so
hard for us. Thank you for loving me during highs and lows. You
nurse me when I'm ill, you encourage me when I'm discouraged, you celebrate
my victories. I know they say love makes you do crazy things, but
I think our love just makes me one thing: sure.
Photo credit: A.B. Photography |
I love you, 5ever.
This is written beautifully! You are awesome!
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Jordyn.
So cute!! Thanks for sharing your love with the blogging world!
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