Capture vs. Captive

There are some things in life I will just never understand (like how someone can dislike pickles or why girls wear sneakers to a bar.)  I'll never understand why some of us (myself in particular) spend our entire adolescence letting the world tell us who we are, when that's the time when we shouldn't have a clue, the time when we should be figuring it all out.  In truth, even that's a stretch--I didn't have a firm grip on who I was until almost my mid twenties.   It's strange how eager we are then to grow up, to get ahead, to get past that collection of awkward years.  If there's one thing that I've learned doing the work I do, it's that what we do to children or expose children to they will inadvertently bring into society.  That is consistent whether we model them compassion or the likes of a coward.   The day to day can be chaotic, but don't forget that values, morals, ethics--they need to be modeled.   Think about something you want to change about yourself, and then you have a little insight on how hard it is for someone else to make changes.   Despite that, I refuse to see no light in the darkness--we can all make change if we want to.  I think on a small level that's why I write--to help others and to remind myself who I am in that moment.   Writing makes me vulnerable and I used to think that was a bad thing, but in truth I am vulnerable in a sense that promotes positivity, honesty, and change.  That takes a certain kind of courage too I think.    If we're self-motivated, self-empowered individuals, I think it promotes more successful, meaningful relationships.  It's not the vulnerability that should be considered weak, it's those secrets we keep that burden us or bury us. 

Lastly, something I'd like some feedback about readers:
(1) I pride myself in being someone who is forgiving, accepting almost to a fault.  One relationship in particular has been troublesome to me lately.  I can't forgive some of the things I'd hoped to--even when other people suggest it's time to.  I've distanced myself from the problem, out of sight out of mind, but I can't shake the anger that washes over me intensely each time I revisit the situation.  Have you ever had a moment like this readers?  Have to had to leave it behind to let it stop consuming your head and heart?

(**I'd like to note that the above scenario isn't a romantic issue, but a matter of the heart nonetheless.  My romantic relationship is super duper, who gets to say they wake up next to one of their best friends and smooch them anytime they want?  THIS GIRL).

Thanks for reading!