I know this probably sounds snotty, but I've been so unbelievably tired out by the normal lately. I get this way a few times a year-- it's like my body and brain get restless, as though they can sense a change is a'comin! I hope it is. If there's one thing becoming painstakingly clearly lately, it's that you have to be cautious about who you open up to--very few care, the others are just curious. (I say this while blogging publicly, choice content though).
If you've known me my whole life I'm sure I was guilty of gender generalizing somewhere along the line. I am no saint, and I'd assume it was in relation to a relationship I had a hard time accepting was over/getting over. Having been guilty of that at some point, I've got to give some (not-so-friendly) advice (mainly because reading how much all men suck/your life is doomed on social networking sites makes me want to punch someone): All men are not evil bastards (and all women not deceiving psychopaths). Everyone has that someone who has really done a number on them, but I believe that despite this the heart of most people is good. If you're running into this same type of "horrible guy" over and over-- take it from me (and my thick head which takes a while to get it)--you're probably seeking out the same (unfulfilled, not appropriate) type of person which continues to allow you to generalize that that's how all men are. Change your perspective. If that doesn't work, change your standards. People change, love changes. Just because bitter memories are mixed in doesn't mean that the happiest moments didn't happen. And it doesn't mean your destined for a life of doom. Maybe learning this is part of growing up, though we're in our 20's now and a HUGE amount of people in my life don't seem to get the things that I see evident....
-You'll never find someone you can be happy with if you're not happy with YOU as a person.
-You're certainly not going to find something different if you're looking in the same places.
-Self-conscious and self-destructive are different. And very apparent. Everyone is self-conscious about something. No one wants to listen to self loathing.
I know I have a ton to learn in this lifetime and I am receptive and willing (unless you present your idea to me in some self-righteous ways that press my buttons). Okkkkayyyy. Moving on.
Get to hug my best friend in 2 days. Can't even tell you the relief that is going to bring both of us.
I got to snuggle with my incredibly handsome godson yesterday. Nothing renews me like time with kids. They're not jaded and hopeless like people so commonly are. He just is happy to sit with me in his belly shirt.