Dec 14, 2010

Come on come on don't leave me like this

When I'm having days like today, the days I want to curl up in my bed for hours and feel sorry for myself, I try to do something nice for others. Make someone laugh, drop off a little gift, tell someone unexpectedly how much they mean to me. . . I make that day not focused on me, but someone else. It always puts my life in perspective.

I've been having trouble feeling like myself lately--It's strange because I'm the loneliest I've ever been so how could I feel like anyone is limiting me? I'm grateful that Hanna will be home in 11 days to give me a dose of the giggles, a warm welcoming smile, and some good times. I can't even tell you how badly I need that, I can feel it in my toes..

I have to go get a series of tests done Saturday. I lost 14 lbs in 4.5 weeks. They're on the pursuit of my thyroid, my gallbladder, or celiacs disease. It's made me feel like a giant science project. I'm so tired of being "the sick girl". I want to be healthy and happy. I can bring so much joy to people, but it's quite difficult when getting out of bed is exhausting.

Lastly, I'm thankful for those of you who have continued to listen to me vent about the ongoing frustrations with my health. If I'm exhausted, you must be exhausted hearing about it. I know that there are people who have it far worse--I am blessed in a variety of ways. Sometimes I think I just need to count my blessings and shut my mouth...

1 comment:

  1. Oh Manda, You are blessed and loved, but it is frustrating to deal with it all. The weight and etc. I know it sucks going through a battery of tests and getting no answers. You're an angel to countless people and the world just fights your goodness keep smiling keep shining. Love you, Hugs