Nov 14, 2010

I get so lonely, can't let just anybody hold me

It's funny how extra time to think makes you rethink everything sometimes. I am already a high-strung person, it's in my nature. But when I get extra time to think about my life, it actually tends to backfire. I over analyze, feel stranded, feel liberated, feel distraught. Vicious cycle.

It's sad to think that we probably could never do things that truly make us happy without hurting someone along the way? I've been hurt, I don't want to be the one that does that to someone. I think often about how I've put myself into a position to feel stuck. I'm 24, and I act 95. I'm not getting any younger, but afraid to take a leap at anything. I play it safe, my job, my social life, and God forbid you come near my heart. What scares me the most is while I'm being wishy washy, the people who have leaped without lingering are happier than ever. I think that my biggest fear is really letting someone see every part of me and it not being enough. Not interesting enough, not thought provoking enough..

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