It's been a really long time since I wrote in here-- at least in terms of 'keeping up with my pregnancy'. I had such good intentions for it, but I quickly realized that everyone has an opinion about pregnancy and for some people they're very insistent that their way is the best way. That was a really hard thing for me and I quickly opted to take this very personal experience back down a notch and share the very basics about my pregnancy, mainly a few visual pictures and ultrasounds. It sort of made me a bit resentful the way people can't give some sound advice without accepting it's not for everyone. For those of you who were supportive and accepting, thank you for that and please don't feel that's at all about you.
Since writing last, for those of you who I don't see often or haven't caught up with, we found a house that I fell madly in love with and opted to move at 9 months pregnant. It's old, it has quirks, and most of all it is a place I am excited to expand our family (by one). I know that resulted in me being even more exhausted and with even less time but I'm not living my life for me right now, I'm building a life for my family. I can tell you one thing, you find out who your friends are when you're growing a human. I mean I know people complain about hormones, but I sort of think they also give you a good sense of clarity.
I've got this great man I'm building my life with-- and when I think about all the loss I've had recently, I'm glad that he met and was accepted by both Linds and Jess. It gives me this peace of mind knowing that they met and approved of someone who loves me so greatly. I can't wait to see him become a dad and embrace all the things having a son will mean. He truly is the most compassionate, thoughtful, educated man. I don't say enough how lucky I am-- so here you go social media... he makes me swoon 2+ years later, when I feel my most 'unpretty' 9 months pregnant. Never ever does a day pass where he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful. Everyone deserves a love like this.
I know the coming weeks and months will be emotional. I will have this little human who depends on me for everything. I will need to find a balance of what I'm willing to share on social media. It scares me lately how many people get absorbed on sites 'sharing' their child instead of 'living' their life. Don't get me wrong, I can't imagine the pride I will feel or photos I will want to share but I hope I am reminded daily to be in the moment with him. Social Media is sometimes a blessing and a curse I suppose.
I know that the beginning of pregnancy was rough for me... in fact I admittedly hated it. But until the last week or two, I could have stayed pregnant for a good length of time... Pregnancy 'looked good on me' people said. My joints aren't fairing so well toward the end here, and I recently had a scare that made me ready to hold him where I can snuggle him and see he's safe. I plan to write sporadically about the terrifying, overwhelming, heart bursting love that having a little human brings along.
And lastly... pregnancy photos for those of you who asked...