Mar 9, 2011

Ducks. In. A. Line.

Have you ever watched the movie A Lot Like Love? I always took a liking to that movie. At one point, Oliver explains that he wants everything in time, and he wants to get "his ducks in a line" to which Emily laughs and tells him "you mean ducks in a row". That makes me smile every time. I had an interview today. I have been falling back in love with massages (and giving them more) lately. It's starting to feel like I'm getting my own ducks in a line.

It's silly right-- the people that actually know the least about you usually have the most to say. Maybe because they're the ones making assumptions, speculating about your life. They don't know about that fire burning inside me, that fuels me when most should be giving up. Or the way my brain reels constantly, I even over-think trying not to think too much. They don't know that the quickest shortcut to what is going on in my head, is always right in my eyes-- They can tell you the story of everything I'm trying to bundle up. Remember that.

There's never been an issue with me making a physical connection with the opposite sex. I'm a blunt person in my personal life. I say personal life because I'm well bridled up for my professional life. It's pretty hard to make me blush. I'll give you a straight answer about almost anything. I think sometimes I am so coy, so passive about things that people don't know when I get my feelings hurt because I always paste on a smile, I always wake up the next day with a sense of optimism, and I can find the good in people that everyone else defines as bad news. It would be nice to date someone who likes things about me most people don't notice-- like the way colors effect my mood (or the way my closet is colorized) or how I sing to every song obnoxiously in the car. Maybe they could learn to laugh at some of my quirky faults, like the way I can't tell you directions to save my life or that I'm terrible at being quiet. It makes me feel like I should be less available, but what good is putting yourself out there if you're altering some parts of you, especially the ones I'm a big fan of. I just feel like if I can find parts of people that no one notices beautiful, that has to be reciprocated.

I started out this post with such intent and it sort of went down the crapper. Ho hum. Big bum. Thank you for reading my little loves.


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